Mental Mechanics: Facing Adversity

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“When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person that walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.”  

–  Haruki Murakami

We all face adversity, in one form or another, every day. That is part of the human experience. This “storm” can present itself in any size, from the alarm clock not working; to traffic that makes us late, to a serious illness. In the moment that storm can feel never-ending, and can consume our energy and focus. Trying to avoid it is a wasted venture. It is as much a part of our lives as air, or sunlight. Some days we see more of it than others, but the one guarantee is that we will see it. How we choose to deal with adversity, when it does happen, will determine our levels of success. I have worked with thousands of individuals on managing adversity. I have noticed some commonalities in how the ones who are most successful choose to experience adversities-both big and small. The most successful understand that adversity is a normal part of the journey, and that it does not have to end it. They find ways to manage, or even leverage those moments. As one client said, ‘These past few weeks of rain have been really tough, but I know my garden will grow stronger as a result.’ These individuals also focus on the things they can control, letting go of those things that they can’t. The only thing we can ever really control is ourselves. If we can’t control something that we are facing, we can always control our reaction to it. Take time today to explore your situation. Are you currently facing a “storm” that seems overwhelming? What aspects of it can you control? How can you control your reactions to what is happening? What aspects of this situation can make you better? Be proactive in handling adversity, learn as much as you can from it, and apply those lessons to your life. It can truly be whatever you decide to make it. You will have periods of sunshine, and periods of rain, but you must be willing to keep traveling on this journey no matter the weather.

Mental Mechanics: The Power of Choice

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“At any given moment we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.”

 –  Abraham Maslow

Many things shape the quality of our lives? One, in particular, gives us the power to change everything, every day? I am a big believer in the power of choice. It is one of the most basic abilities that we possess, as humans, and lies at the very core of everything we do…and don’t do. Even when we can’t control what is coming at us, we can choose to control our response. In any Psychology 101 class, we learn that we do things to either avoid pain or gain pleasure. That is our choice. I’ve had the privilege of working with an incredibly diverse group of people, from professional athletes to leaders of industry, to members of our Military. The one thing that consistently makes them successful is the power of the choices they make. Success is a result of making good choices; good choices are made as a result of experience, in most cases. We must begin looking at both our victories, as well as our defeats, as opportunities to learn. We can use that knowledge to grow. Take time today to explore your own situation. How often do you think about the choices that you have made? Are you currently facing a situation that is demanding a significant choice? What have you experienced in the past that will allow you to make the right decision? How will your life be affected by the choices you could make? What would happen if you chose to remain where you are, and do nothing? No one ever made the winning play, by standing on the sidelines where it is safe. Everything you have ever accomplished has been the result of the choices you have made. Don’t be afraid to move forward toward the life you want.

It is important to remember that taking risks may be a necessary step in actively pursuing personal success. Try reframing your thinking, to view risk as an opportunity to succeed, rather than a path to failure. Your life will ultimately become what you decide to make it. Get a clear picture, create a workable plan, and allow yourself to succeed.

Mental Mechanics: Risk Taking

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“Those who won’t take a chance don’t have a chance.” – Zig Ziglar

Risk-taking is scary for most of us because there is always the potential for loss. We’ve been taught to be careful and avoid taking any unnecessary chances in life. Instead, we are often cautioned to ‘play it safe’ and take small steps toward our dreams. The inherent need to feel safe and secure is one of the things that keeps us from taking risks.

We, as humans, like to stick to those things that are familiar and comfortable. While this approach does tend to ‘feel’ safer, there can also some disadvantages. We can’t build momentum by holding ourselves back. The longer we hold back, the harder it will be to move forward. Society teaches us to view risk-taking negatively, creating a sense of danger. Some risks certainly have more consequence than others, and the process should never be approached haphazardly. We should always ask ourselves what the potential negative consequences could be, and make a truly informed decision. We should also list the rewards associated with the risk. What can you gain that will allow you to be a better version of yourself? We generally don’t benefit from taking these chances, without educating ourselves on potential outcomes and preparing for both.

Take time today to explore your own situation. How do you view risk? Have chances presented themselves to you recently that you have been afraid to take? Are you facing a similar situation now? What are the potential downsides? What could you gain by taking this risk? What will ultimately move you toward the life you want?

It is important to remember that taking risks may be a necessary step in actively pursuing personal success. Try reframing your thinking, to view risk as an opportunity to succeed, rather than a path to failure. Your life will ultimately become what you decide to make it. Get a clear picture, create a workable plan, and allow yourself to succeed.